Don’t put your feelings in the hands of others

People are going to say and do some really mean and nasty stuff. It’s a part of life and we know it is going to happen. Yet, we let it affect us time and time again. We throw insults back and forth, and even take enjoyment out of it. Then, we get sucked in so deep that what people have said and done truly define who we are. We have allowed it to happen.

You cannot control what others say or do. You control the meaning of it. Not them, not someone else, not the environment around you, or even the economy! It’s your own choice to let whatever has happened to define you, or simply allow it to make you grow from the experience. You can control what happens next!

It’s not about closing your eyes, tapping your shoes three times and saying “there are no problems in my life, there are no problems in my life, there are no problems in my life.” Or what I like best is that people say that their “problems” are “opportunities.” Hell no! And it’s not some positive rah rah bullsh#t. That is how we take the easy way out. And that is a great reason how and why people continue to struggle. We just want to wave a wand and make it all go away. But life is full of problems. We encounter them every day. We have to be in control of ourselves.

The way you overcome the adversity is to define it yourself. You must realize that you are solely in control of your life, even when an uncontrollable event occurs. If you suddenly lose your job due to a corporate restructuring, you obviously cannot control that event, but you can control your ability to continue to work. I know that experience many times over from being in the financial services industry. Instead of saying why does this happen to me, I say it’s a great opportunity to do something new and even earn more money. When I have been faced with problems at work and have been screamed at by clients, sure I get pissed off. But only for a few minutes. If I were to allow that encounter to define my job or the rest of my day, I would probably not be successful. I chose to react the way I wanted to react. I chose my destiny. It was my choice. And so can you at every situation no matter what you are going through. Give the experience an empowering meaning. Let the experience serve you.

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